My grandfather died on a day in early December when I was seventeen. Less than six days prior, he’d been belting out Joy to the World at my older brothers wedding and lamenting that he couldn’t dance at the reception because of his “ticker.” Little did we know that less than a week later that same “ticker” would give out in a grocery store while he was buying bread. Christmas that year had a lot less laughter and felt a little more somber.

That’s the reality for a lot of people at Christmas. Tragedy strikes at inopportune times. Cancer treatments still take place over the holidays and there will always be a family experiencing a first Christmas without someone they love. I feel like each new day brings a hard story filled with grief and struggle. It’s hard to reconcile the joyfull trappings of Christmas with the tough stuff of life.

Yet as I look closer at the Christmas story and the Old Testament prophesies, it’s exactly those hard stories that mean so much at Christmas. Jesus was sent as Immanuel, meaning “God with us.” So much of the Bible is the story of “God with us” and it all crescendos at the Christmas story and Jesus birth.

If you want a great resource to learn more about “God with us” in the Bible, I’d highly recommend the She Reads Truth podcast, Advent-Week 2, episode 4. But a real quick review: God was with Adam and Eve in the garden, with the Israelites in the desert and David wrote so many psalms about God’s nearness. The Old Testament is filled with all of the ways that God was with his people.

Jesus didn’t come to earth so that we could create a holiday. Jesus took on human form because God didn’t want his people to go through the darkness; the wilderness, alone. He wanted to draw us back to him. There was only one way to do that and it all started at Christmas.

Christmas begins Jesus life here on earth and ends with his death and resurrection. Christmas isn’t just about baby Jesus in the manger, it’s also about the cross of Good Friday and the empty tomb of Easter.

Which is all lovely religious talk, but what does that have to do with the hard stuff here on earth?

What I recall from the aftermath of my grandfathers death was that for months afterwards I felt like I had someone watching over me who was always on my side. Maybe I’d be driving and someone would cut me off and I just felt like I could say to grandpa, “Did you see that? What a jerk!” I could talk to my grandpa about hard things and I felt like he was near.

Now, I don’t want to get into the theology of whether or not my grandpa was actually watching over me but what eventually came out of that experience is that I finally understood “God with us”. God is that always available person, who is FOR me and always willing to listen.

In this season, one where it’s tough to live in the tension of sparkle and joy and happy songs yet surrounded by stories of grief and loss, I can remember that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 NIV)

That’s the wonder of Christmas and the reason I’m changed. I recognize his sacrifice, the cost to him that he became human, and I experience his nearness in my hard moments and in the joy too. Experiencing this has changed me.

Celebrating Christmas isn’t about lights, or trees or food. Celebrating Christmas is for a quiet moments remembering that God changed everything to be near to us.

Takeaway Time

Experiencing God’s presence is a practice. Take a moment: could be five minutes, it could be 30. Start by acknowledging God’s presence. Maybe sit in a chair, pull out another and imagine Jesus is sitting across from you. Or turn off your radio when you’re driving alone in your car and pretend that Jesus is in the passenger seat.

Then talk to him out loud. What do you want to say to him? Do you want to ask him questions? Maybe you want to tell him about something good that happened. Or maybe you’re really mad at him for stuff that’s been happening in your life. Tell him any of those things.

Do you feel any different after you talk to him? If you do, write it down. If you feel nothing, write that down too. Practice this until Christmas day.

He’s near and he’s listening. Practice spending time with him.