I’m walking out of 2019 with a limp. Not literally…it’s a figurative limp. Just in case you got worried for a second.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not counting 2019 as an awful year. There are too many good things that happened for which to be thankful. It’s just that some of the unexpected events of 2019 have left a permanent mark and I’ll never walk through life the same again. I struggled through most of 2019 feeling lost and uncertain. Honestly, I’m eager to move into 2020.

As I’ve been processing 2019, I’m saying good-bye to the things I need to leave behind; grieving a job, relationships, and dreams. I’ve also realized that there is one thing that I received in 2019 that I am not willing to let go. My struggles of this past year have left an awareness of God’s presence in the small moments. I see his handiwork more and more each day. I feel him drawing me forward into 2020, stronger. I’m not stronger because of who I am. I am stronger because for the first time ever I recognize that I can’t do this on my own. I’m more fully aware of my need for him and that’s not something I’m willing to leave behind in 2019.

So as I reflect on 2019 and step into 2020, I’ve written a prayer for myself that I’d like to share with you. Perhaps there are some things in my prayer that resonate with you.

Prayer for 2020.

God let this be a year in which I seek your voice above the wisdom and opinions of others. Let my goal be to bring you glory instead of bringing me glory.

May I be so familiar with your voice and your ways that I know counterfeit messages when I hear them.

May I truly trust you with who I am and what I do. Protect me from shrinking back to fit into any box that others have designed for me. Guard me from creating false images to impress others.

Let this be the year that I stop waiting for a stamp of approval from “them” (whoever they may be) to step into my calling. Please continue to remind me that you’ve already unleashed me into the world.

God, I will face moments in 2020 that will cause me discomfort. Remind me that you are near. Help me to trust your plan for my life. Draw me closer to you in these moments.

LORD, I will also face sweet moments of joy. Let me truly experience them and then thank you for the gifts you give. Help me to lean into the joy and share it with those around me.

Let 2020 be a year in which I find joy in the small and unimportant things.

Be near to me in the big things. Help me to stay close to you in those moments so that I don’t become distracted.

God help me to enjoy my “people,” but not so much that I fail to see others around me. Let my #squadgoals always involve friends I have yet to meet.

God, whatever power I may possess, let me use it to elevate others and not for my own personal gain.

LORD, you know the future. You know what I am facing. Be near to me and work through me in 2020 so that in all things others may know you more.

That’s all for now,

Sarah

This reflection started as I worked through an exercise called Hello/Good-bye by Lead Stories podcast. It’s an incredible tool to help to say good-bye to the necessary things of 2019 and step into 2020 with hope and intention. You can find their amazing resource here.