The coffee shop was a cacophony of noise.  An espresso machine gurgled as it brewed. Milk frothed and foamed, steamed to just the right temperature.  Laptop keys clattered and chairs scratched across the floor. In the midst of it all, my friend and I sat, catching up on travel and the lives of our kids.  We shared life struggles and plans for the coming months. I’d recently been through a challenging season. She listened intently and cooed support.  

Then in a quiet moment my friend looked me in the eye and stuttered out some serious faith questions.  The thoughts started slowly and then words tumbled out. After the doubts surfaced she caught herself and blurted “I just need to push through and get over it.” Tears caught in the corner of her eyes.  

Her questions were familiar.  I’ve asked many of them myself.  I’ve struggled through seasons of silence, feeling far from God.  I’ve wondered if God is good, questioned if I can trust him. I’ve held Jesus at arms length and been mystified by the Holy Spirit. And there are days when thinking about God and eternity has caused me to panic.  Not because of doubt but because my head cannot comprehend the enormity of God, his omniscience and omnipresence.  

Sometimes I struggle through my faith questions on my own, afraid that by sharing them, someone might question the strength of my faith. My instinct and the instinct of my friend is to quickly shut the door on faith questions, to move along and act like nothing is wrong.  

Why do we think we all need to have all the answers? How can we imagine that there will come a time when we will fully understand God and have the ability to explain him? Do we believe that there will be a time when we will no longer wonder or doubt?  

The Bible certainly doesn’t instruct us to live this way.  The book of Job is filled with questions. Questions that Job has for God after experiencing extreme suffering. Job has lost almost everything. He lost his kids, and his possessions.  In the midst of it, he asks why. “Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?” Job 3:23 NIV

He asks why he should continue to hope, now that he’s lost everything.  “What strength do I have, that I should still hope?” Job 6:11 NIV

He wonders what the purpose is for men on earth, “Do not mortals have hard service on earth?  Are not their days like those of hired laborers?” Job 7:1 NIV

It’s an entire book filled with questions from a man who is suffering.  

It is also a case study in what to do and not do when faced with the suffering of a loved one.  At first Job’s friends sit with him and say nothing. And all is good. Then they open their mouths and get into trouble.  Instead of making space for his suffering and his questions, his friends try to explain it. They answer suffering with truth and not with love.  

God appears to Job at the end of the story, after Job’s friends have completely put their feet in their mouths.  Yet he doesn’t show up and answer all of Job’s questions. He does reveal his presence. He speaks with Job about his character and his presence and he has a few questions of his own for Job.  Finally after all of it, Job recognizes his place in the story and that God has been present in all of it. Chapter 42 contains one of my favorite verses of scripture, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.”  Job 42:5 NIV

It is in our questions, our doubts that we grow in relationship with God.  When all is stripped away and we realize that God has been present the entire time, we learn to lean on him more and more.We aren’t meant to fully explain God.  We are meant for relationship with him. “I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5 NIV

I’ve had some big faith questions in my life and I am sure that I will have more.  Thankfully, God has given me safe people who dig into my questions. Women who never shame me.  Friends who listen, ask questions and then reflect their own experience. They point me to scripture and resources and I always leave the conversation encouraged.  They’ve made it okay to wonder, doubt and question. And they’ve taught me to do the same for others.  

On that day in the coffee shop, as I sat across from my sweet friend and the tears spilled over, I was able to say “Those are some incredible questions.  I don’t think you need to push through and get over it. Tell me more.”